Monthly Archives: June 2008

Needed: One Agent

Ah my lovelies, I did not visit my blog during May. That’s okay because it appears you didn’t either. But now it’s June, and June is a completely different month altogether. I’m feeling bloggish.

Do you all remember in the movie version of Mary Poppins when Jane and Michael Banks composed an ad for a new nanny after seeing what their father had in mind?

If you want this choice position,
have a cheery disposition…
Rosy cheeks, no warts…
Play games, all sorts.

As I’ve worked on my query letter and pitch for the last few days, I’ve had this little ditty playing in my head. Whereas I don’t really care about rosy cheeks and warts, I do think I want an agent who is very much like Mary Poppins.

Spit, spot, my agent will say and just like that my book will sell. Wouldn’t that be great? And remember the amazing carpetbag that was empty but still full of things? I think an agent with a briefcase like that would be able to negotiate lots of extra author copies and maybe a bonus or two fairly easily. Then there’s the tea party on the ceiling. I’ve always wanted to do that. (I know that has nothing to do with being an agent, but if they are like MP and we get together for coffee then maybe . . . ?)

Oh, and that bit about sliding up the banister? That would just be so cool.

I like Mary’s no nonsense approach. In the original P.L. Travers’ version, Mary didn’t twinkle like Julie Andrews–she sniffed. That would be just fine with me because I don’t need things coated with a spoon full of sugar. Just give me the truth and give it to me straight.

OTOH, Mary was always leaving abruptly. I could do without that part. It’s not that I would need my agent all the time, it’s just that I would need them sometimes–you know, when I need them. Then again, don’t you think that these days it would be easy enough for Mary Poppins to stay in touch? I can just see her flying off from conferences with an umbrella in one hand and an iPhone in the other.

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